by A Farm Girl | May 6, 2021 | Family, Musings
A couple of months ago, I tried to take a realistic look at my schedule and everything that I was trying to get done in a day. I ended most days feeling like a failure because I had listed out everything that needed to get done and I never seemed to get it done. DH would look at me like I was a dragon with 3 heads when I expressed my feelings of failure, because to him, I was knocking it out of the park. I was getting worn out by the constant feelings of failure and the burden of always feeling in “catch-up” mode. So I gave myself a big kick in the rear and started to think about things from a different perspective.
The first thing that I did was list out everything that ACTUALLY had to get done in a day and how long that each would take realistically considering my family and their needs and personalities. Here is what I came up with:
- Sleep – 7-8 hours
- Morning Bible study – 30 min
- Meals – 2.5 hours
- Daily hygiene – 1 hour
- Cooking – 2 hours
- Morning farm work – 1 hour
- Afternoon farm work – 1 hour
- Kids’ bedtime routine – 1 hour
- Dishes – 30 min
- 2-3 loads of laundry start to (hopefully) finish – 1 hour
- Cleaning up the kitchen after meals – 30 min
When I totaled everything up, it came out to about 20 hours out of my day! That gave me 4 hours to do EVERYTHING else. That includes structured school time for the kids, working the horses, tending the garden and orchard, farm projects, cleaning the house, house projects, mowing the always growing 7 acres of grass, etc. I started to think about those hours as my fluid hours. I realized that if I had 4 fluid hours in a day, I could really only plan for about 2-2.5 of them being usable, because inevitably someone would have a meltdown or get hurt or decide to take twice as long doing the morning farm work because we had to stop and study a micro-habitat that exists under a water trough that we were supposed to be scrubbing or kiddos get into a huge fight over who was supposed to brush their teeth first after breakfast which resulted in a 30 min discussion about treating each other with love and respect. You get the picture – life happens. 🙂
As soon as I realized how much I was actually getting packed into that tiny span of time and how much I was getting done out of necessity without thinking about it, I started to feel much less like a failure. I also started making much, much shorter to-do lists. I made loops for everything that needed to fit into those hours: school subjects; fun activities with the kids; barn work; etc. Whatever doesn’t get done today, just get’s moved to tomorrow. I have let go of having a clean house for now. When the kids are older, they can help more. For now, we farm and school and live in our house. It’s never going to be perfectly clean, let alone Pinterest-worthy. I celebrate the days that when I go to bed, the dishwasher is running and the kitchen is clean. But most nights, some dishes are soaking or there may be a stack on the side of the sink. Often, DH and I have some quality time and laughs watching something silly while we fold the day’s laundry that’s stacked on our bed.
I still have days when I feel like a failure, because I haven’t lived up to my expectations. But they are getting fewer and further between. I wrote the phrase “Remember, you only have 4 fluid hours in a day, so only plan for 2-2.5 of them.” in big letters on the rub-away board by my kitchen table. I see it multiple times a day. It is sinking in. My 4 fluid hours realization is freeing me to be in the moment with my family, because I’m not feeling the constant pressure of that to-do list of doom that was always unachievable and setting me up to fail.
by A Farm Girl | Sep 27, 2019 | Family, Musings
We all know the normal way of doing laundry – sort everything according to color: whites, lights, and darks. Years ago, I found it somewhat frustrating to be folding a load of laundry and have to run the folded items to six different rooms. I started thinking about the fact that few, if any, of my clothes ever bled their color and those that did were usually washed separately or with a color catching sheet (one of the best inventions to hit the laundry world). What if I did my laundry by location instead of by type?
I tried it and it worked wonderfully! I now have hampers in various parts of the house and, when those get full, I wash a load for that area. Folding and putting away is much faster because I simply carry the basket of folded items to one place. The kids have a hamper in their bathroom, and all their clothes and towels go into it. When it’s full, I wash a kiddo load. We sort their clothes as we fold them into piles depending on dresser drawer that they go into. Each one has their own small laundry basket, and we stack the piles in the baskets. Then they carry their baskets upstairs and put their clean clothes away themselves. I have a hamper in the kitchen for kitchen towels and bibs (which the kids still ask to wear when dinners are especially messy). The kitchen load gets carried into the kitchen straight out of the dryer and put away as it’s folded or whichever kid is on laundry duty that particular month folds it on the sofa and puts it away Our (meaning the grown-ups) laundry gets split up into a couple of different hampers: delicates (anything that needs a cold, gentle wash and needs to be dried on low); normals (mostly farming clothes that require a heavier wash and can get dried on high: jeans, t-shirts, etc); towels (including the ones from washing the dogs – which happens frequently around here); and the load that we endearingly call “stinkies” (DH’s sweaty undershirts, etc that seem to need hot water and vinegar to come out of the wash smelling fresh). All of our hampers are labeled and in our bathroom closet. I have one more hamper labeled “other” which is a catch all for random things that need washing, like dog blankets and cleaning rags. I wash all of out bedding on Fridays or Saturdays a couple of times each month. I just strip the beds and throw the bedding into the wash, so that doesn’t need a hamper.
So there you go. It’s a new spin on laundry management. Try it and see how it works for you.
by A Farm Girl | Feb 12, 2019 | Family
Today is my 26th cancer-free anniversary! I am a survivor!!!
Yep! 26 years ago, God took my leukemia filled body from being 95% cancerous to remission within just 8 days of diagnosis! He is so good!!!
Yesterday, I started thinking about how I have spent so much time being worried and stressed. I don’t believe God saved me 26 years ago to spend my days being weighed down by stress. I have been having a “next 30 years” (like the song by Tim McGraw) couple of days thinking about how I don’t want to spend my next 26 years under the load of worry and stress that I have had for most of the past 26 years.
I don’t want to feel hurried anymore. I want to slow down and simplify my life so that I can enjoy all of the ways God has blessed me without feeling like I am already running late for the next thing on my never ending list of things to do. I don’t mind being busy, but I am tired of feeling rushed and not getting to be mindful and enjoy whatever activity that I currently doing. I want to show my kids that life is a blessing not a never ending, stress filled, worry inducing to-do list.
Okay, so easier said than done – I get that. I am still going to try to find greater joy in this life that God has given me. I am going to try to show more grace to those around me and especially to myself. I am going to try to listen and look for the positive and let the negative run off my back. I am going to choose to embrace the crazy and the chaos when the choice is laughter or stress. I am going to try to reduce and simplify my schedule so that I have time to play and rest – so I am not always scurrying from one thing to the next without even being able to enjoy them.
I am a survivor! I want to start living like it!!
by A Farm Girl | Feb 8, 2019 | Family, Homeschool, Musings
Have you ever noticed how, when kids get tired, they go in a downward spiral from bad to worse. This can be especially true if they refuse to nap or have had a very long busy day (like lots of errands, appointments, activities). It’s not just true of preschoolers, either. School age kids and teenagers suffer from this problem too. Even grownups suffer when we don’t get to rest.
Have you ever noticed that, when you don’t take a break, EVERYTHING seems harder? Our work load seems bigger and more overwhelming when we are tired. We get less done because we are stressed. The less we get done, the more stressed we get. It keeps snowballing until we have this avalanche of being completely overwhelmed and overloaded. Chores pile up. We yell at our family, are melancholy with our friends, and get so worn out that all we want to do is cry.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Why? Because we are trying to be superwomen. We try to do everything and be everything for everyone all the time. We don’t stop. We don’t rest
But rest isn’t just important because we need a physical recharge. God actually commands that we rest. The 3rd commandment says, “Remember the Sabbath Day and keep it holy.” Now God thinks that this is so important that He put it right after the 2 commandments stating that He is to be our only God and nothing should come before Him.
Hebrews 4 talks about how the Israelites were disobedient in the wilderness and God said that they would never enter His rest. The Israelites could have had 40 more years of enjoying the Promised Land but instead they wandered around in the desert for 40 years. 40 years! All those who had been disobedient died. Their children received the promised inheritance.
We have got to stop resisting and give in to the need for rest. We all need to give ourselves a Sabbath. For our sakes. For our kids. For our spouses. We don’t want to fall under a curse like the Israelites and wander around in a wilderness of stress, grumpiness, and being completely overwhelmed and stress paralyzed for 40 years. We need to teach our kids the importance of rest. With today’s world of go, go, go and packed schedules, it’s so easy to get caught in the flow of doing all the time.
I challenge us all to stop and take a day, or a couple hours, every week to focus on our Creator and cherish our families. I also challenge us all to take at least 30 minutes every day to stop and rest and recharge. Drink a cup of tea or coffee (while it’s still hot!) and eat a snack (I don’t know about you, but I forget to eat most days then get really hangry around 4 PM.) Listen to a praise CD and worship the Creator and thank Him for knowing that we need rest. I know it can be hard, with kids, schedules, work, life, etc. You may have to be creative and find a way to work it in. If you are stuck, pray. Ask God to show you how to find a time of rest in your day and in your week. He will show you where. He blesses those who walk in His ways. He may ask you give up something, but it will be worth it. Things always are when we are walking in obedience.
by A Farm Girl | Sep 12, 2018 | Family, Farm Life
For anyone out there who has a dust buster (the small, handheld, battery powered vacuums), I have a wonderful discovery to share. Anyone who doesn’t have one, you should get one. They are awesome!
We have one because the kids can use it and have been vacuuming cereal and other crumbs from around the table since they were each about 2.
Anyway, here is my life hack. You know how annoying it can be to pull the lint trap out of the dryer and have it drop stuff all over the top or floor (depending on where your trap is)? This is especially bad living on a farm because there are always wood shavings in the trap. They go EVERYWHERE! Also, sometimes, it can be hard to get all of the lint off of the trap itself.
Well, grab your dust buster! Vacuum the lint trap itself! Vacuum up everything it drops out of it. Vacuum the opening to the place where the trap goes in. It is awesome!!
That’s it!
by A Farm Girl | Aug 30, 2018 | Family, Musings
This entry is a little dated. I originally wrote it on the first Sunday that we had animals on the farm, but it is just as relevant now.
DD seemed to have a tummy bug over the last few days so she couldn’t go to Sunday school. She and I stayed home while DH and DS went to church. Since DD is not even 3 and always loves to be doing something, we only had a short time of worship together – we read a Bible story, her choice, Noah’s ark, and talked about how wonderful it was that God gave the world a new beginning with the ark and an even better one with our redemption through Jesus. Then we prayed and thanked God for those new beginnings and for our new beginning here on the farm. We then spent some time singing praise songs together while she played.
Then I busied myself with things around the house. It hit me as I thought about everything that always needs to get done that now more than ever, I need to remember to rest. God commanded the Israelites to “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.” (Exodus 20:8) Jesus reminded the Pharisees “The Sabbath was created for man…” (Mark 2:27) (yes I know that I am taking that a little out of context but just go with me for a moment) 🙂
God created us and knows that in our crazy, fallen, need for control lives, we over do, over commit, and STRESS about everything that WE have put on our plates. He created and commanded a day of rest so we could recharge. So our families could recharge and reconnect. I don’t think that God needed to rest on the 7th day of creation. I think He, in His infinite wisdom, was modeling what He wanted us to do.
God does everything and creates everything for His glory. We can use our days and times of rest, no matter how long or short they may be, to glorify Him. We need to slow down and thank Him for providing an inborn need for rest and be willing to make it a priority.
I need to remember this and show my kids that rest is important. Spending time just being and not always doing is more than important, it is essential. Without it, we get crabby and tunnel-visioned, and make ourselves sick. We alienate ourselves because we are so tired that we are poor company.
There is always work to do on a farm and in a family. I need to be willing to stop and let some of it go until tomorrow. Those dishes and dirty clothes will be fine until tomorrow. Those baskets of clean shirts can go unfolded for 1 more day. That grass won’t grow too much overnight. We only have so much time to cherish the ones we love. Carve out time for them. Join me in making a fresh start and taking time to rest.
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