Sometimes it can be really hard to let go of something good. For the past 2 years, I was a children’s leader (CL) at BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) in the preschool program. Once a week, I got to show God’s love to a room full of kiddos while playing, praying, singing hymns, and teaching a Bible story. It was hard work but so worth it and so much fun!
We bought our farm at the end of the BSF year this spring, and I knew that I couldn’t keep up with both. Being a CL requires going to training another morning every week, planning a lesson, showing up early for set up and staying late for clean up on class days, and extra time with my own BSF lesson. It leaves you joyful but utterly exhausted by the end of class each week.
Let me tell you. I miss it so much! I volunteered to help watch kids on the leader’s initial training day. I cried almost the entire drive home. We have met for class twice. The first week, I was in my adult group (boy was that strange – but nice). This was the second week, and my group had group serve (where the women from the adult classes go help as volunteers with the kiddos to assist their CLs). It was sad being back in a class with the kiddos and know that I can’t be there every week.
I know that I cannot handle being a CL this year. (It goes from a 3-4 hour commitment each week to 14-16 hours). I want – no I need – to spend quality time with my kids and with my mom. Responsibilities around here are the higher calling. Still, it is incredible how giving up the good for the better can still hurt. We only get so many days with the ones we love. Right now, I am called to be here for my husband, and my kids, and for my mom. In the future, I may be able to go back to being a CL but now is not the time.
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