DS had a friend over a few days ago. That afternoon, the three kids and I went down to the big metal barn to fix the ponies’ dinner. The two boys discovered the shavings pile and started playing king of the mountain. My first (but momentary) reaction was to panic over what DS’s friend’s mom would think about her son being covered (I mean head to toe covered) with shavings. Then I looked at the faces of the two boys and couldn’t help but snap some pictures and send them to her.
All this got me thinking about how afraid I am to be the real me. I have been so guarded for so long that I am scared to be authentically me.
I wasn’t always this way. I still remember a time when I was in 4th or 5th grade. My mom loved to buy me tube socks, and I loved to wear them. 🙂 I proudly wore them pulled all the way up to my knees. I wore them until they had holes everywhere. I had a classmate look at me one day and tell me that my holey socks were ugly and disrespectful. I proudly her that those were the socks that I had and that I didn’t care whether they had holes or not.
I have no idea why this encounter is so ingrained in my mind but it is.
Okay, back to now. I am sure that I am not the only one who struggles with this. It is a big part of one of my favorite the movies Mom’s Night Out. (By the way, if you haven’t seen that movie, you really need to. It is awesome!) God loves us. He knows how messy and frazzled and control-freakish and disorganized we can be, but He still wants us to come to Him as we are.
Repeatedly, in the Bible, we read about God using broken and messed up people, as they are. Look at David. Look at Paul. Look at Naomi and Ruth. Look at Jacob. Look at Rahab. I could go on and on.
If God can use them, why can’t He use us?
When we are always trying to show everyone our best side, no one gets to see the real us. When we only talk/post/text/tweet/blog about our baking or house or yard or kids on the best day, we miss out on letting God use us to reach everyone who needs to see that they are not alone. In The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis said that “Friendship…is born at the moment when one man says to another ‘What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .’” We have to be willing to be our true selves to let other people in.
Beyond showing our true selves, though, we also need to let our God-given gifts shine. If you can cook, feed those who are hungry (be it a neighbor or a soup kitchen or church function full of people). If you can bake, make something to cheer up your kid on a bad day or a friend who needs a pick me up. If you can sing, join a choir. If you love babies, volunteer in the nursery or find an outreach that cares for young children while their parents are working or trying to find jobs or give a new mom a break so she can take a nap. If you love to garden, find someone who needs help in your neighborhood or church. If you are a good listener, be an ear to someone who needs to talk. If you like kids, offer to watch someone else’s for a few hours while they take a break, go to the doctor, or run errands. If you can sew or knit, make blankets or clothes and give them to shelters or new mom’s. Whatever it is, however God has gifted you, use it. Don’t be stopped by the thought that you are not good enough or that there is someone out there who is better than you. So what if there is! God gives us gifts for us to bring glory to Him not to win a comparison contest.
I love to story in Luke about the widow who gives her last two mites. (See Luke 21) No matter how small and imperfect we feel like our abilities are, God will use them. Just look at what he did with 5 loaves and 2 small fish.
Let’s all try to be more authentic – both in the good and the bad. Our bad side is hardly ever as ugly as we think it is, and we are surely not alone in our flaws. Our gifts used for Him can accomplish so much to further His kingdom. If we all just let a little more of ourselves see the sunshine, imagine how much lighter we would feel. Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun. 😉 Imagine the difference we could make.
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